We’ve all been there—lost in a season of struggle, disappointment or heartbreak, whispering some version of the same painful question: “God, where were You when I needed You?” For many strong women of faith, this question is not just a passing thought but a deep-seated struggle that reverberates through their most trying times.
The Lord is my rock, yet when life feels overwhelming — especially for extended periods of time — I can slip into wondering if He really cares and if He truly has my best interests at heart. The pain of suffering and unanswered prayers can lead me to question His ways and His motives, even though I do believe that He is always for me. Perhaps you have felt this way at times.
For those of us pursuing personal growth through our faith, the question “Where were You when I needed You?” can produce an uncomfortable tension—desiring to trust God but being afraid to let go completely. The question echoes through the hearts of all of us who have experienced loss, betrayal, or long seasons of silence. Though painful, I have noticed that asking (or crying out with) this question is often the starting point of deeper faith and trust.
The Struggle With Trust
We live in a world where trust can be easily broken. Our experiences with people—whether in relationships, work, or friendships—often leave us feeling guarded. It’s no wonder that many women, even those rooted in faith, find it difficult to trust God fully. We might feel that while God is good, we don’t want to be vulnerable enough to rely on Him completely. What if He doesn’t come through? What if we let go, only to find ourselves worse off than before?
These fears are understandable. Life has a way of wearing us down, especially when our prayers seem to go unanswered, and our circumstances refuse to improve. When we’re dealing with illness, financial instability, family struggles, or personal disappointments, it’s natural to wonder if God really will be faithful.
Thankfully, the Bible encourages us from a radically different perspective. In James 1:2-4, we are told “My brethren (and sisters), count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
This scripture doesn’t diminish the pain we experience, but it gives us insight into God’s purpose for our trials: the development of our faith and character. To embrace this perspective, we must first face our fears and take a leap of faith—choosing to trust that God is indeed working for our good, even when we cannot see it.
The Tension Between Faith and Fear
Faith often coexists with fear, as much as I would prefer otherwise, yet we are called to trust God even in the unknown. Though James 1:2-4 helps me understand the purpose of our trials, I find this difficult to fully embrace when I am in the midst of them. That being said, I have to admit that my faith is refined and deepened when I am willing to face my fears.
When I consciously choose to trust God, even when fear would tell me to do otherwise, He seems to reward that choice with a deepening of my conviction that everything will be ok. Faith is built step by step over a lifetime. Sometimes two steps forward, one step back. Other times one step forward and two steps back.
Faith-building is a process, not an event. Psalm 56:3-4 reminds me to declare: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.”
Where Was God?
Let’s dig a little deeper into the aloneness we can feel in our deepest trials. So, where was God…really…in our hardest moments? Where was He when we cried out for help and didn’t feel His presence? Where was He when we lost a loved one, faced betrayal, or endured hardship?
The Bible assures us that even in our darkest valleys, God is with us. In Isaiah 43:2, God promises, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” We don’t always feel His presence, but it is always promised. He is there, even when we don’t sense Him.
But why doesn’t God intervene the way we want Him to? Why doesn’t He stop the suffering, heal the wounds instantly, or answer prayers the way we envision? These questions are deeply personal and complex, and while we may never fully understand God’s ways, we can trust that His perspective is infinitely greater than ours.
Psalm 56:8 tells us that God collects every tear in a bottle—an intimate image of how deeply He cares for our pain. Though we don’t always feel it, we are told that He doesn’t stand far off, unmoved by our suffering. He is present, walking with us through the pain, and working behind the scenes in ways we cannot fathom.
Sometimes, it’s only in hindsight that we see God’s hand in our suffering. We can look back and recognize how a difficult situation eventually brought about growth, healing, or even new opportunities we couldn’t have anticipated. Though I would not choose them, my struggles have strengthened me, deepened my empathy for others, and have drawn me closer to God.
The Leap of Faith
Fully trusting God requires a leap of faith. It means surrendering our need for control and admitting that we don’t have all the answers. Proverbs 3:5-6 invites us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Surrendering control isn’t easy. Many women struggle with letting go because it feels vulnerable, and vulnerability can be terrifying. We fear that if we let go, we’ll be hurt, abandoned, or left without the security we crave. The truth is that holding on tightly to our own plans often leads to more frustration and anxiety. It is only when we surrender to God’s will that we find true peace.
Philippians 4:7 tells us that when we trust God, “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This peace is not dependent on our circumstances; it comes from knowing that God is in control and that His plans for us are good, even when life doesn’t look the way we expected.
God’s Faithfulness
One of the most powerful ways to build trust in God is to remember His faithfulness. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who is unfailingly faithful to His people, even when they doubt, question, or stray from Him. God’s faithfulness is not dependent on our faith, thankfully! Even when we struggle to trust Him, He remains steady.
His promises are sure, and His character is unchanging. Hebrews 13:8 affirms that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” He is the same God who led the Israelites through the desert, who sustained David through trials, and who delivered Paul through countless hardships. And He is the same God who walks with us today, through our darkest valleys and our brightest mountaintops.
Trusting in the Bigger Picture
Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” I cannot tell you how often I have leaned on the beautiful promise of those words. This is my favorite scripture, a balm to my heart at times when I don’t understand why things are happening the way they are.
The words in Romans 8:28 do not mean that everything we experience is good, but that God can and will use even the most painful circumstances for our ultimate good and for His glory. We may not always understand why certain things happen, but we can trust that God sees the bigger picture. He knows the end from the beginning, and He is weaving together a tapestry that we cannot yet see.
Our suffering, while real and painful, is not the end of the story. In Jeremiah 29:11, God declares, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is another scripture that gives me great hope.
Conclusion
The journey of faith is not without its struggles, doubts, and questions. But, in the midst of our trials, we are invited to trust in a God who is always present, always faithful, and always working for our good. The question “Where were You when I needed You?” may not have easy answers, but it opens the door to deeper trust, growth, and reliance on God. As we take that leap of faith, we find that He is more than capable of holding us, guiding us, and creating beauty out of our brokenness.