What comes to mind when you hear the word affirmations?
Do they feel empowering—or fake?
Do they sound helpful—or a little too “woo-woo” to take seriously?
Have you ever secretly hoped they might help—but felt skeptical or unsure how to use them?
You’re not alone.
Let me explain.
The topic of affirmations can stir up strong feelings. People often fall into one of two camps: wholehearted believers or adamant skeptics. I’ve personally had mixed feelings over the years. But today, I can honestly say—I love them. When used in the right context and in the right way, affirmations are one of the most powerful tools for transformation.
More Than “Name It and Claim It”
Affirmations are not magic spells. They’re not about simply repeating a phrase until the universe rearranges itself in your favor. When used superficially—without connection to a meaningful goal or deeper work—they can feel hollow or even discouraging. If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I am confident and powerful,” while adamantly thinking, “No, I’m not,” you know what I mean.
That’s why I caution against using affirmations as a “name it and claim it” strategy. True change requires more than words—it requires intention, context, and alignment with what really matters to you.
Affirmations From a Bigger Perspective
In my books, Dare to Dream: The Art of Co-Creating with God, I explore this topic in depth.
In Volume 1: Building the Foundation, I lay out the inner and spiritual groundwork for growth and change. I explore topics like:
- The science of neuroplasticity (how our brains are wired for change).
- The influence of spiritual warfare (and how the adversary tries to sabotage us).
- The deep-rooted barriers that prevent us from stepping into our God-given identity.
In Volume 2: Activation, I help readers identify the limiting thoughts and beliefs that keep them stuck—and introduce three transformational tools I call “Power Tools”: Contemplation, Visualization, and Declarations (another word for affirmations).
Only after that foundational work is completed do we begin crafting a personalized Action Plan for Change—one that’s rooted in the reader’s own story, beliefs, and goals. Affirmations are an integral part of that plan—not a standalone technique. When grounded in faith and truth and then paired with visualization and contemplation as part of an Action Plan, they become agents of healing and spiritual transformation. Why? Because they help retrain the brain—literally.
The Science + Spirit of Affirmations
Let me give you an example. Let’s say a woman has read the Dare to Dream books and decides she wants to focus on self-care. She’s exhausted, anxious, and feels completely disconnected from herself and from God. Her physical, emotional, and spiritual tanks are empty. Through reading Volume 1, she has a new understanding of herself and her process of change.
Through prayerful contemplation, introduced in Volume 2, she realizes that true self-care (for her) means tending to her body, emotions, and spirit.
She then designs an Action Plan for Change that includes:
- Quiet time with God
- Better sleep hygiene and intentional relaxation
- Healthier eating and exercise
- Deliberate focus on stress reduction
- Regular moments of fun and connection
Because her emotional health is her most immediate self-care need, she begins there. Her Action Plan involves setting aside a few sacred minutes each morning to do very specific things.
- She prays, reads scripture and journals with God.
- She sits quietly, breathes deeply and listens to peaceful music.
- She visualizes herself moving through the day with calm, presence, and grace.
- She repeats declarations that affirm who she desires to become.
Here are a few declarations (affirmations) she might use:
- God’s peace flows through me with each breath. I am calm, focused, and at ease.
- I am fully present in this moment and trust that I have enough time to do what truly matters.
- I release all anxiety to God and embrace the calm that comes from knowing I am enough, just as I am.
- I allow myself to slow down and enjoy life, trusting that I will get everything done in its own time.
These affirmations are not random. They are rooted in her deepest longings and align with her faith and Action Plan. They open her spirit to receive God’s peace, to support her nervous system, and to rewire her thought patterns.
When Doubts Creep In
She might start thinking, “These affirmations don’t feel true. Am I just lying to myself?” That’s a common and completely understandable reaction—especially when an affirmation touches a deep wound or contradicts a long-standing belief. But here’s the truth: affirmations are not about forcing yourself to believe something you don’t yet believe. They are about retraining your brain to open up to a new possibility. Inner resistance doesn’t mean the affirmation is false—it simply means your neural pathways are still wired to the old narrative. That resistance isn’t evidence of failure; it’s a normal and expected part of the change process.
Instead of arguing with that resistant voice, try responding to it with compassion. Think of it like a four-year-old who doesn’t want to go to bed. You don’t scold or shame her; you gently acknowledge her resistance —“I know you don’t want to go to bed, sweetheart. That’s okay.”— and then lovingly lead her through the routine anyway. You put on the pajamas. You read the story. You tuck her in.
Likewise, when the inner voice says, “This feels like a lie,” you can respond: “Yes, I hear that. It feels unfamiliar right now—and that’s exactly why we’re doing this. We’re creating space for a new way of thinking.” Instead of focusing on the negative thought, lovingly shift attention back to the affirmations. Over time, with focus and repetition, the brain begins to accept this new truth—not as a lie, but as a possibility. And eventually, as a lived reality.
Why Repetition Matters
Here’s what science tells us: if you want to change your brain, you need focus, repetition, and consistency. Neural pathways don’t change overnight. They’re like walking trails in a forest—well-worn paths are easy to follow, while new ones require effort to clear and maintain. Most research shows it takes at least 30 days to establish a new habit, but let’s be honest—lasting change often takes longer, especially if the old pattern is deeply ingrained.
The key is to stick with it, even when it feels awkward or ineffective. Over time, your brain begins to accept new truths. What once felt foreign starts to feel familiar. And soon, your daily affirmations stop sounding like a wish—and start feeling like a promise.
Another Essential Element . . . Elevating Your Emotional State
When your mood is uplifted—whether through gratitude, laughter, music, prayer, or simply being present with beauty or peace—your brain becomes more receptive to learning. Positive emotions create the ideal conditions for rewiring because they open up the nervous system, making it more likely to absorb and retain new information. This is why pairing affirmations with something that lifts your spirit (like listening to calm, peaceful music while implementing an Action Plan) is so effective—it helps “lock in” the new belief on a deeper level.
What Makes Affirmations Work?
Let’s sum it up. Affirmations work when they are:
- Connected to a clear, meaningful goal
- Grounded in truth and aligned with your values
- Used consistently, with repetition and intention
- Combined with visualization, prayer, and reflection
- Part of a bigger plan for change
- Paired with a compassionate response to inner resistance
When doubts arise—and they will—what matters is how you respond. Rather than arguing with the resistant voice, you can gently acknowledge it and return to the practice. Like coaxing a tired child to bed, you lead yourself lovingly back to the new belief you’re trying to grow.
In isolation, affirmations can feel like empty words. But in the context of faith-based growth, they help reinforce what God is already doing in your heart. They become a way to partner with the Holy Spirit in reshaping your thoughts, beliefs, and actions.
In Closing: What Do You Want to Believe?
If affirmations haven’t worked for you in the past, it’s not because you failed. You may have just needed a bigger context, a clearer purpose, or more time.
So, here’s my invitation to you:
- What truth is God inviting you to believe about yourself?
- What old lie are you ready to release?
- What new habit or identity do you want to step into?
Write affirmations that reflects those truths. Then repeat them. Visualize them. Pray over them. Speak them aloud in faith and trust. Do your best to align your actions with those beliefs. With time, patience and God’s grace, they will begin to feel true—not just in your mind, but in your heart.
Because when affirmations are grounded in truth, paired with intention and faith, and given time to take root . . . they can become a powerful part of your healing and growth.